Well folks looks like Bachelor Pad has come to a close and not too soon. I'm ready for Bachelor Bachelor- come on Chris L. show yourself!!! Tonight's show, though worthless, did bring some high points of entertainment. I suppose ABC decided to mop up some change on this one and basically advertise for their higher rated Dancing with the Stars. So we were treated to some priceless practice footage of the "couples". Edyta and ElizoVac (as I refer to them)- like watching a bad porn! Dude elizabeth you could not have looked less sexy if you were dressed like Mickey Mouse standing next to Edyta. Girl, get some toner on your hair stat and check your low self esteem elsewhere. WTF?!?! It's so hard to hear her say she wants to help Kovac win and so she will humiliate herself and become a jealous biotch while he dances with this chick who he can't stop drooling over. I literally thought we were going to watch him attempt to impregnate Edyta as he slipped her between his legs. That song from high school kept running through my head, "I feel a little poke coming through"... haha. Tenley and Kiptyn- snoozefest. Natalie and Dave- Do you hava the sex? Haha Dave says "no" and Natalie talks about their odd sexual positions. Hmmm.... Somethings not adding up (perhaps literally). Watching Dave twirl Louis- what to say about that. Louis what was up with the insane amount of back sweat. Again, uncomfortable to watch.
Now to the performances. A little piece of me died with Tenley and Kiptyn and her commands to "smile"- haha Rainbow bright has a GI Joe side! Kinky- wonder if it translates to the bedroom. Can't you see her biting and shit. So the judges, are you shitting me? Jake- fuck off. Seriously can't deal with him. Almost turned this crap off. He actually used the word "transitions". As in you need to transition yourself into a real career you douche. Dave and Natalie- hmm it was like watching two cheetos flitter around the dance floor. Woof.
No surprise with Gia and Wes. Good luck taming that fool. Cya KipTen!!! Go pat yourselves on your back for being a bunch of dorks. Krisily- woah girl you got real bad spray tan and that's saying something if I have to point you out over the rest of the overcooked carrots. Interesting twist at the end- I liked it. Natalie had me going. Maybe she will get her hair fixed now. Well folks, till January.
