Bachelorette Week 7- Showdown Vake

Wow what a week- let's start with the self proclaimed Famewhores. That was TV gold people. I just wanted to punch Jake right in the nose and white up his snotty little attitude with Vienna's over made-up face. Girl, no "coat" is gonna make you look normal and professional- she should listen to Oprah- Don't wear white on camera cause it's just too harsh. But seriously, I did actually start to feel sorry for her. It did appear to me that she had some real feelings (albeit those of an idealistic 7 year old who just finished watching The Little Mermaid). Loved how she called him out on not flying in the last 2 years only because it elicited his brilliant response of, "Uh-huh! I flew last weekend!" haha- dude YOU need to get a job. I'm a little confused about the dog- did it die? Since when did an IV translate to sick as shit? So he flew the dog out and then it shat everywhere so he made her drive it to Florida? Hmmm... if they were smart they would have avoided all these arguments about a dog and just had a baby like other real couples. That way they could have sold the new baby pics and split the money and been set for like the next 2 months. Chris Harrison please stop showing favoritism to Jake- he's a douchebag and you look like a tool being nice to him. Vienna take some xanex before big shows like this. Jake- go away. And don't interrupt me!

Now back to Portugal- I believe I'd like to go there as long as I don't have to see every so-called castle in sight and have a fairytale theme. ABC you overdid it with the cheesy music, sunsets and prince themes- seriously- it's embarrassing when my husband walks in and the GUYS are saying they want to be her "king" and using words like "dungeon". Hard to stay legit with shit like that. Ali- lookin better this week. I liked most of her outfits and her hair didn't piss me off as much. Bye bye Ty- let's not pretend you ever had a real shot. The cowboy thing was cute but we all know horseback riding doesn't build a lasting relationship. Robert0- you bored me a bit this week. I'm ready for Ali to pull herself together and stop fawning over him. Looks like next week may be worse with him in a baseball uniform. Kirk- ugh. I'm so over him and his huge plaid shirts. Frank- well we all pretty much know you are gonna suck in the end (You've really let me down Frank- I was pulling for you early on). Did everyone catch a glimpse of the ex in next week's preview? She doesn't seem that cute but we'll see. Frank, when you are trying to man-up your circumstances about being 30 and living at home with your 'rents, try not to cry- it definitely peels away the masculinity. He also needs to stop discussing his game plan with the other men- you're showing your cards bro. Chris L- mmmm still my fave! Ali is dumb if she doesn't like him. But then again, something is keeping her single- she must not want a kind, sensitive, brawny hunk of a man. My one concern is a slight over attachment to the family- let's hope he has some boundaries.

Well baby Ella is up and ready for her mommy to stop bashing these fools and put her nice face on again. Till Monday peeps....