The Bachelor Pad- Series premiere

Seems like I'm gonna L-O-V-E love this show. It was a good turn around coming on the heels of Ali's season (which I didn't blog on because frankly most of you readers were already at my house to hear quite a bit of commentary). I will say this- Very surprised she ended up with someone at all. Love her and Roberto and might actually put a little faith into this relationship. Chris Chris Chris- PUuuuuhlease tell me you are the next bachelor. Can you see it- a whole season around that delicious Chris L. mmmm :)

Anyhoo- my mind can get so distracted when I'm planning the upcoming productions for primetime tv. Back to the Bachelor Pad. Catchy and appropriate title. I really liked Melissa Rycroft Strickland (?) so I'm happy to see her hostess a bit. Loved her metallic dress at the rose ceremony but found it very awkward when she handed the roses to the girls. I think she could use about an 8 pound weight gain. Not much but just a touch to take away the harsh edges on her. Overall good cast but a few from left field. Krisily? Who the fuck is that? Charlie's season was lame and I heard that he and Sara have broken up once and for all so wish they had picked her over that chick. Laughed so hard when Weatherman, Jonathan, was like "who the hell is she"? Cause you know that dude has watched as loyally as me- grow a pair bro. Also laughed when he was deciding if he should hook up with a few girls to get votes (as if he has that option- dude they laughed at you to your face). Sometimes I guess it pays to be oblivious. Gwen- were the question marks next to her name necessary? She can't be that old. 40-43 is my guess. And honestly she looks smokin hot- hasn't really aged since her show with Aaron (what an awful bachelor!!!!). She just needs a great haircut and some low-lights. Curious to see what she'll do this season. Natalie- you know that chick gets around. Bet she hasn't worked a day since her season. I think she got veneers. Looks good. Wish she would fix her hair. Jessie the girl- still looks so mousy to me. And her dress that she wore out with Craig M. looked like a tame 1980's prom dress circa Pretty in Pink. She does have rockin abs but I'm just not seeing it. The guys seem to really like her which makes me think she has a reputation for other things they just haven't shared with us yet. Nicki- hmm? Not sure how i feel about her yet. I remember her being the den mother in her season who cooked for everyone and just "couldn't let her guard down". I really didn't see her with Juan. I personally think she lucked out with getting rid of him on the first episode. Otherwise, her anger and tears would have continued over the next few weeks and really made her look desperate and weak. Now Juan just looks like a tool. In fact, he's a bit mousy looking as well so it would be interesting to see him with Jessie. Michelle- you crazy loon. She should know better than to lock Cinderella in a bathroom and threaten her. I will miss her drama though. Some girls just never get it. Now that brings me to Tenley. I was really excited to see her do this show, but holy shit she really has swallowed a rainbow. Twinkle toes looked so freakin loopy. What is she on? From laughter to tears but not in a Steel Magnolia's kind-of-way. Shit, she should have knocked that chick out and put her toothbrush in the toilet like any other women with a backbone who gets cornered in a bathroom. Not freakin cry to the whole cast like the injured duckling that she is. She needs to lose the victim card stat and bring her voice down two octaves. Otherwise, loves her.

On to the guys. I could open a garage with all the tools they cast. David- tool. You were a tool on Jillian's season and still are. Craig M.- you really do have great hair, but your lounge-wear and bright colors and strategies equate you to a tool. Jessie K- WTF you are whipped by a crazy bitch. Don't even get me going on that Elizabeth. I knew bitches like that in high school and hated them then and hate them now. She has crazy hair and crazy eyes. I could go on, but she seriously gets me worked up. Anyways, Jessie I lost respect for you that I really never had in the first place. Jessie B- what's with all the Jessies? You're ok except for the giant hooch hangin on your lip. What's with the relationship with Natalie? You seem too cool for that. I think I saw that hoe's legs more than I saw her face. At least sleep in your own bunk. Do you even hear what I'm saying?? We're talking about freakin bunk beds. Separate and stat!

I'm a little concerned that they are going to funk around with Chris Harrison's waredrobe. Try to cool him up for these escapades. Leave well enough alone. The music made me think of Grease and commercials for Fiesta Texas- a little too hokey, but that's a running problem for ABC. There's so much more to discuss but time is limited. We'll save some for next week.