Real Housewives of NYC- Reunion

HOLY CRAP- and people say The View is a catfight. Since I've never recapped a Real Housewives episode (though I've followed it closely from the beginning) I'll give you a little take on my thoughts of the ladies.

Bethenny- Loves her. Her book is pretty awesome- I think I would be super skinny if I heeded her advice. I think she's hilarious (love her Jill Zarin impressions). Her jaw line and bulging eyes are a bit distracting and I often find myself contemplating on whether or not she is pretty at certain angles. *I know I'm super critical...sigh* Not sure how I feel about Jason yet, but I'm watching her new Bethenny Getting Married show so we'll see.

Lou Ann- She's very love hate for me. I hate all the "I'm classy" shit (that statement is seriously ironic). I do like her style (with the exception of her hair) and the Native American cheek bones. Her taste is men is HORRIBLE!!!! (I get the willies watching her date). And she needs to never sing again.

Jill Zarin- While I personally want to punch her in the nose, I do think she's necessary for the show. I love that her husband's name is Bobby (perfect for her NY accent and very mafiosa- and I like his transition lenses). I for 'ril feel sorry for her daughter. What do you think it would cost to have a cabby run her damn dog over? That thing is sick lickin' her nose and all.

Alex- Again, love to hate her. She and simon give me the creeps BIG time. I want to vomit when I think of how much they spend on their hideous clothes. Her looks are also distracting, though I have to say she grew on me this season. What the F&$% was all that "deliver a message" shit?

Ramona- Please stop wearing your jewelry collection in every single scene. It's so not something we want to buy! Is she aware of how crazy her eyes look? I am laughing to myself as I think of her walking that catwalk with crazy side pony tail and way too much sclera. And dude her daughter is like 5 minutes from snorting crack- that's one angry pre-teen.

Kelly- Oh my word. Girl has gone crizzzazy. In the words of Sonia, it's not fair to pick on those who are mentally ill. But she does have one sick body for eating gummy bears and jelly beans. Ease up on the spray tan though. What was she smoking when she named her kids Sea and Teddy? She's seriously living in a land with rainbows and unicorns.

Sonia- Slow down with the sex maniac persona. She's pretty chill otherwise. Her hair is a bit light and looks almost grey to me in certain lights. I think we could be friends.

I think that does it. Well Andy Cohen- he's great- love his interview techniques especially when he gets offended by their gay and Jewish prejudices- he's so not Oprah in a good way.

So for the Reunion- I was wondering how they were going to fill 3 hours, but they sure as hell managed. Best part was Ramona stamping her foot like my own toddler at Jill Zarin. NUTHOUSE. So was everyone else confused about LouAnn and the cheating thing? I'm thinking she and her husband were both seeing other people before they decided to finalize the divorce. Still unclear to me. Jill drives me insane with the "I'm sorry" crap and then when you accept her apology she gets mad back. I can't stand that. Also she needs to do swoopy bangs or something- it's almost nerdy the way she styles it. Bethenny was playing the cool as cucumber card a bit too much- I like to really see her explode on people like Kelly. Remember the "GO TO BED THEN" moment on the crazy island- loved that. Worst moment of the night was Jill Zarin (you have to say her name in full to get the whole effect) scootin over to Bethenny to hug her and not being able to really bend in the dress- AWKWARD. There's no hope for them- Jill Zarin is freakin looney and a media whore. I heard she's now friends with Dina Lohan. She has no standards when it comes to press. Ok that's all for now- gotta make a bucket list for bookclub tomorrow (we are headed on a central Texas winery tour- I know, I didn't realize we had wineries here either). What are your thoughts?