Bach Recap- Projections and Rejections

I'm certainly no shrink, but if tonight wasn't one giant projection from one person to another then Oprah ain't the queen. Let's start with Allie. I mean could that have been any more awkward? They're sitting at a sinking table in a pool of semen infested hot springs as she is describing a past relationship that exactly describes her current relationship with Brad. They couldn't have scripted that better if they tried. This girl seriously made me laugh tonight. First of all, did they put on her a miniature horse or is the girl Amazon woman? I couldn't stop laughing- I thought the horse was gonna buckle any second. And why were there two ponies following them? I honestly considered that they might have been back up for Allie's horse *See footnote. And she damn near killed me with the bug phobia. I have to relate a little to her fear myself, but did she have to throw her glass at a beetle? Priceless.

Next major offender of the night- micHELLe- I do believe she described Chantal as "egotistical". Well if that ain't calling the kettle black? And can anyone say INSECURE???? Really, you had to map it out for Brad- shit maybe she is actually the producer of this whole thing and I just didn't realize it. Brad you better back away now. I'm pretty confident this bitch has you by the balls. I'm not sure a little punishment last place rose is gonna teach this chick anything. Two things really bother me about this girl: (1) Ok I'll say it. I'm not sure she is here for the right reasons- ha. But it's true. I'm really not sure why she even likes Brad. I think she wants to control him and win. That's so season 1-14. (2) She thinks she's so damn cute on her side interviews. I mean she really seems pleased with herself after she says things like "i just really wanna go home and F*&K him. *giggles* I mean I'm just not sure how else to say it". Wow- mother of the year.

Chantal O- I like her. She cheered up a bit this episode for us. I thought the whole "I love you" was a bit soon, but I gotta give it to her for playing her cards well. Really didn't like her rose ceremony dress. Made her a bit boxy and she otherwise has a cute figure.

Ashley- Hate to still see you here. I don't see the appeal. Pardon me, "connection".

Shawntel- Like her a lot too. The silent game was a little odd. Reminded me of a really awful 7th grade teacher I had that wouldn't talk to us for 3 days (Huhndorf- for any of my fellow IKE classmates). Otherwise, I think I'd be friends with this girl myself.

Jackie- Girl, I really liked ya at the get-go. Kinda let me down with the mellowdramatic descent down the water fall. That is until I couldn't stop laughing as the waterfall completely kicked your ass- HILARIOUS. No worries chickita- you did more than I could have or would have for Brad. You'll do well on shows like Bachelor pad and other ABC reunions- Brad was too regimented and serious for you.

Brit- I'm sorry, who are you? Please eat a french fry. She reminds me of this perfume I used to like when I was about 10 (before my mom would let me have the real stuff)- I believe it was called Petite Natee. She seems kind of tween-ish to me. Like make up doesn't settle well on her unless it has glitter. I swear she is going to use a crimper in next week's episode. Cotillian vs. prom. Limited too vs. The Limited. Fake id vs not fake id. etc etc etc...

Emily- Oh girl, I think I may see the cards about to fold. Let's hope not. I'll still put her as a front runner (who wouldn't) but that whole "sabotage" comment and the preview next week where she may or may not let him meet her daughter... Oh Lordy. Could be the beginning of the end. Or perhaps as the next Bachelorette. Only time will tell.

OK am i missing anyone? Don't think so. Let me hear your thoughts this week. Looks like we can nail down a finale night soon- so get ready to mark your calendars. Special thanks tonight to hubby Ryan for running downstairs to get my power cord for the old mac. Time to save for an iPad. I should get some advertisers in here for my 14 followers. Ha!

**Just to be clear- I don't feel as though Allie is a big girl. This is more a reflection on the poor planning of producers to give a tall woman a small horse. Also, please note, no horses were harmed in the making of this production.