Where to begin.... there's always so much to say about the first episode of a new season. I suppose there is no better place to start than with the lady herself, Ashley Hebert. I have to say, she about hit the nail on the head in terms of my expectations. She's no Emily. She knows it, ABC knows it and I know it. They tried to glam her up at the After The Final Rose and did a pretty good job. I liked the hair color, the swept bangs and loose waves. But shit, home girl just can't keep it up. Last night, she looked disheveled and short in a swanky gown that was too grown up for her. I swear, if she licks her teeth one more time, I might die. I'm wondering is she worried she has food stuck in her teeth or has lipstick smears... she is lacking in terms of lips so maybe this is a constant battle for her. But your best solution would be a mirror. She reminds me of those snotty kids who continuously lick around their mouth. Admit it- you know exactly what I'm talking about. Frankly, I think she is a DNA copy of Trista Sutter mixed with the "i'm short and cute" attitude of Jillian Harris. Last night I was irritated with all the squealing and giggling. It was just all too much. I think the irritation is up today after learning that Brad and Emily have OFFICIALLY called it off. Damn- could have been so much better with her. I feel like ABC realizes they were in a pickle- sort of had to choose Ashley. So they have compensated by adding a shitload of tools this season. And you know what, I like it! That's some summer tv! I'm a little off the Bachelor train right now. Honestly, I'm pissed about Brad and Em. He's such a dick for f'ing it up with her that right now I don't think any of these fools should find love. So bring on the hot mess of emotions.
Every season, it gets harder and harder to watch the first introductions. I am litterally curled up in a ball in my bed and forcing myself to watch these horribly awkward encounters. If it wasn't for my current lime sherbet addiction I'm not sure I would even be able to pull my head out from under the pillow (hey it's my wine for the next 5 months!). I think in the future any dude who decides to pick you up and put you on his shoulder or do a tango with you upon his initial meeting should immediately be asked to leave. In fact, she should throw the rose at his face. It's not clever. It's not sexy. It's rude. Put her shiny, happy ass back on the floor.
Ok let's do a quick review of some stand outs. I'm horrible in the beginning with names, so bare with.
JP- Early front runner in my mind. Super hot and for some reason, i'm digging his shaved head. I even liked the cupcake story he told till she ruined it with her fantasy of being called "cupcake". Really Ash? You want to admit that? I may not be able to let that go.
Ben- He reminds me a bit of Frank from Jillian's season. I think he's pretty cute (maybe a bit much jaw but rather too much than too little). I thought the message board was a little hoaky but hey, I love Love Actually- well played my friend.
Constantine- I'm seriously distracted by his name. I really can't hear anything he says when his name pops up on screen.
West- Love his name (yes I'm very stuck on names based on my current situation). His story was gut wrenching. Very relieved she picked him. I'd like to see that play out. Obviously we know from Emily, that a widow goes far in terms of ratings- no offense West.
Dude who threw the guitar- clever... not sure how I feel just yet about him. Makes me laugh a little thinking of Wes from Jillian's season. Really kind of wish he threw Ashley in the pool though instead of the guitar though- really Ash? You can't wait to be serenaded? Maybe it's just me.... I hate that kind of attention.
Jeff- The Masked Man. Ok I really kind of hate this crap. He's a real "let me be the center of attention by being as invisible as possible" kind of guy. Normally, we see this with girls who are crying in the bathroom. "Don't pay attention to me... wah wah wah". On the other hand, I'm fine with his reasoning and calm demeanor. Hey why not get to know him? But all this was before I realized he continues to wear the mask into the following days. Seriously? I'm also curious, can she see his picture back in the "decision" room? Then that's just stupid.
Bentley- Normally I would hate this guy. I think I have a lot of potential to hate this guy. But at this point, I think it's sheer drama and that's what I'm looking for. If I wanted to see normal and healthy I'd turn on reruns of 7th Heaven. He is hot- great hair. Definite douchebag who was on drugs when naming his child Cozy. Maybe they were roomates with Apple Martin or Blanket Jackson at the hospital. I think I'm going to have a hard time feeling sorry for Ashley in the end knowing she was warned in grave detail about this guy. And if that didn't do it for you Ash, you know he named his daughter Cozy. Beware. In the spirit of Oprah's final week, I'll share with you all a piece of advice she frequently quotes, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them". O what will we do without you?
And finally, Tim- hmm not sure what to say. Tim if I were you, I think i'd get an attorney. For any of my lawyer readers... could he sue ABC for over-serving him and then using footage to make a complete mockery of him? I really felt bad for the dude. Did she really need to get 6 men to help her get him out to the car? But to Tim, you need to check yourself fool. I know you're nervous, but really? Ask yourself, should you be working in the liquor industry?
Quote of the night- "It takes guts and nuts!"- some dude in reference to "stealing" Ashley away.
Well I think this promises to be a season of entertainment. Ashley I wish you luck. You may even find love. But if you do, it will be despite all odds. I really think ABC has set up every obstacle and drama possible in the name of ratings. GIrl, listen to your gut. You have already hinted to us that you are lacking some confidence and felt like viewers really wanted to see Emily- I think you are right and for that, I feel for ya.
P.S. I'd like to take my blog a little further in the future, so please feel free to repost a link to it on your FB pages or blogs. Thanks!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Bach Recap- Before the FINAL rose
Ok who's pumped? I can't wait for next week's show. I have been certain it was Emily and I still maintain that it is, but I have to say that my sister definitely put some serious doubt in my head this weekend. She brings up an excellent point. Brad does seem to say often that he feels so comfortable with Chantal. And maybe they have downplayed their relationship a bit to throw us off a bit. Who knows? I think it's gonna be good.
As for last night's episode... I'd say it was hard to watch. I have to admit, I even started to feel for Michelle. I do think she was a bit misunderstood. Her sarcastic and dry humor is hard to pick up on in short segments and clips and I think it did make her to be the villain. One thing that was not said though, was how sexual she was. And let's face it- this is what really pissed off the women. It wasn't that she made fun of them or told Brad she thought they should be sent home, but that she was turning this ABC primetime show into a late cinemax flick. Shit, I wouldn't want some hooch up on my man either. P.S. Was it me or is Chris Harrison totally in love with her?
So while I think Michelle recovered some fans, I think Stacey did some serious image damage. Slow yo' roll lady. No need to knock Michelle's parenting skills. Does she not have a right to "find love" just because she has a child? How come no one is saying anything to Emily? I did read on people.com that she got serious criticism for her boob job and that this part wasn't aired. Interesting.
Jackie Jackie Jackie. The spider analogy? Creepy? Really- let's save that for child predators. It's a little overkill with Michelle. I think what you were trying to say was that just because you are the least sexual person on the show doesn't mean you didn't have a "connection" with Brad. Clearly, you were jealous of Michelle's inhibitions. Too bad too because you didn't need to be. You were fine just the way you were. Now put the claws away and go back to being a lady.
Ashley H- I personally loved the new hair on her. I know it was controversial for some of you, but I thought the darker color really matched her and I loved the bangs- really framed her face. Well done gal- you seemed comfortable in your skin. Thought your hug for Brad was a little much and I was worried I was going to see your cooch at any moment. Otherwise, well played.
Ashley S- girl, why you still crying on camera? You need a BFF to set you straight. That and a good girl's night out with a few tequila shots. Let it go, you weren't meant to be HIS wife.
Melissa and Rachel- Really? Really??? Seriously bored with their 10 minutes of stupid drama. Neither of you were right for him because you don't have the common sense to not cat fight on the first episode. Duh!
Shawntel- did I miss it? Did they even talk to her?
Best part of the show was the out-takes. I always think those are hilarious. It was funny to see that silly side of Brad- I liked him so much more once I saw him singing, "Let me ride that donkey donkey". Brought back so many high school memories for me!! Also he finally seemed to match up with the man I envision owning Chugging Monkey.
One last side note- did you all catch that glimpse of Peyton and Chris L. on the Bachelor Pad party??? L-O-V-E LOVE them!!
Okey dokey- finale watching party next monday at 7!!!! Be here or be square!
As for last night's episode... I'd say it was hard to watch. I have to admit, I even started to feel for Michelle. I do think she was a bit misunderstood. Her sarcastic and dry humor is hard to pick up on in short segments and clips and I think it did make her to be the villain. One thing that was not said though, was how sexual she was. And let's face it- this is what really pissed off the women. It wasn't that she made fun of them or told Brad she thought they should be sent home, but that she was turning this ABC primetime show into a late cinemax flick. Shit, I wouldn't want some hooch up on my man either. P.S. Was it me or is Chris Harrison totally in love with her?
So while I think Michelle recovered some fans, I think Stacey did some serious image damage. Slow yo' roll lady. No need to knock Michelle's parenting skills. Does she not have a right to "find love" just because she has a child? How come no one is saying anything to Emily? I did read on people.com that she got serious criticism for her boob job and that this part wasn't aired. Interesting.
Jackie Jackie Jackie. The spider analogy? Creepy? Really- let's save that for child predators. It's a little overkill with Michelle. I think what you were trying to say was that just because you are the least sexual person on the show doesn't mean you didn't have a "connection" with Brad. Clearly, you were jealous of Michelle's inhibitions. Too bad too because you didn't need to be. You were fine just the way you were. Now put the claws away and go back to being a lady.
Ashley H- I personally loved the new hair on her. I know it was controversial for some of you, but I thought the darker color really matched her and I loved the bangs- really framed her face. Well done gal- you seemed comfortable in your skin. Thought your hug for Brad was a little much and I was worried I was going to see your cooch at any moment. Otherwise, well played.
Ashley S- girl, why you still crying on camera? You need a BFF to set you straight. That and a good girl's night out with a few tequila shots. Let it go, you weren't meant to be HIS wife.
Melissa and Rachel- Really? Really??? Seriously bored with their 10 minutes of stupid drama. Neither of you were right for him because you don't have the common sense to not cat fight on the first episode. Duh!
Shawntel- did I miss it? Did they even talk to her?
Best part of the show was the out-takes. I always think those are hilarious. It was funny to see that silly side of Brad- I liked him so much more once I saw him singing, "Let me ride that donkey donkey". Brought back so many high school memories for me!! Also he finally seemed to match up with the man I envision owning Chugging Monkey.
One last side note- did you all catch that glimpse of Peyton and Chris L. on the Bachelor Pad party??? L-O-V-E LOVE them!!
Okey dokey- finale watching party next monday at 7!!!! Be here or be square!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Bach Recap- Would Mandela be proud?
Has the man never been to a zoo? I mean not to be too unimpressed with South Africa (Lord knows I'd love to go), but really? You've never seen a lion or a giraffe? I realize it's "the wild" (ie. an open space of land where animals are likely fed so that paying tourists can see them in their natural states), but obviously it's seriously staged. If that's not staged, then I'm really wondering what type of waiver they had to sign in order to eat lunch at the lion's watering hole. I'd need more than one guide with one gun. Also, since the safari was a bit staged, were they trying to compensate with authentic worm food. Gross.
I'm not quite sure why we are even bothering with these last few episodes. It's clearly Emily. If it's not clearly Emily then Brad should seriously be placed in some high security zones because I believe he could be stoned by loyal watchers. And in case some of you weren't sure, I'm pretty certain the "I'm falling in love with you too" should be a rather big tip off. In fact, I feel sorry for the guys in editing who have to try to make it look like there is some question that Emily might not be it. On the flip side, we have to consider that Brad tends to make the exact wrong choice when it comes down to it. So we'll see if his "therapy" has paid off.
Well was anyone else as confused as me with Ashly? Seems like she shut down with the rather obvious questions. For example, "where do you want to live?" I mean really sweetheart? Somewhere warm? Hmmm nothing says interested in a man like describing the climate you'd like to live in. No surprise here that she had to go and sabotage the whole thing. I believe she wants to be the next bachelorette and she's paving the way for that possibility. I don't see her being a good fit for this. Too hyper for my tastes. I really didn't understand all her flapping around when she saw the helicopter. It's like her body was saying "exciting" and her mouth was saying "kill me". Very toddler like. Well see ya Ash.
So March 14th- finale watching party at my house! Who's excited? MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not quite sure why we are even bothering with these last few episodes. It's clearly Emily. If it's not clearly Emily then Brad should seriously be placed in some high security zones because I believe he could be stoned by loyal watchers. And in case some of you weren't sure, I'm pretty certain the "I'm falling in love with you too" should be a rather big tip off. In fact, I feel sorry for the guys in editing who have to try to make it look like there is some question that Emily might not be it. On the flip side, we have to consider that Brad tends to make the exact wrong choice when it comes down to it. So we'll see if his "therapy" has paid off.
Well was anyone else as confused as me with Ashly? Seems like she shut down with the rather obvious questions. For example, "where do you want to live?" I mean really sweetheart? Somewhere warm? Hmmm nothing says interested in a man like describing the climate you'd like to live in. No surprise here that she had to go and sabotage the whole thing. I believe she wants to be the next bachelorette and she's paving the way for that possibility. I don't see her being a good fit for this. Too hyper for my tastes. I really didn't understand all her flapping around when she saw the helicopter. It's like her body was saying "exciting" and her mouth was saying "kill me". Very toddler like. Well see ya Ash.
So March 14th- finale watching party at my house! Who's excited? MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Bach Recap- Emily. Hands down. Emily.
Home girl has this thing in the bag. She's perfect. What's not to like? My previous concern was that she wouldn't fall for him in the end, but seems like she's pretty taken this week. Ok let's talk about what's important here- her digs. Dude I wanted a full on tour. Could little Ricky's playroom have been any cuter? Loved the shabby chic thing. She must have hit bank when homeboy died (God rest his soul). So she's 24 and has a 5 year old and is this cute and put together? Puts me to shame. You go girl. Sometimes when you can't beat it, follow it. And Em, I'm a follower. Winner- no doubt in my mind.
Shawntel- hmm. What to say? Maybe laying him on the dead person embalming table was a bit much. I mean I understand you want him to appreciate your line of work. I can certainly relate. But you don't see me putting a cath in my husband's wee wee. Also, I think if you just did that new bob that Jennifer Anniston just did to her hair, it would be perfect on you (you can see pics on People.com). On a final note, I liked that you left without tearing him apart but you didn't have to gravel and put your tail between legs. There are other men out there that are kind and respectful- living ones at that!
Ahsley- Let me start with one major annoyance- French Canadian- Everyone who knows me, knows I love all things French. But that nasal French Canadian accent just really gets under my skin. It's the equivalent of a strong midwestern accent to me- dontcha know? Anyhoo- I do have a sensitive stomach, but really that Putsin (sp??) made me want to vomit. Then you feed it to him- really? Nasty. Get that cheesy gravy mess off camera. That line from Pulp Fiction just kept playing through my head "They fuckin' drown it in that shit" (referencing french fries and mayonnaise). Wolf. Ok moving on- Ashely you were like a 10 year old seeing Justin Bieber in person. Calm down. Get your hormones in check and try not to make a baby in front of your whole freakin family. And Brad you felt comfortable here? I'm so confused. I felt like he was sitting in Sarah Palins cousin's living room. Freaky. You'll be gone next week when he discovers you are still in training bras.
Chantel- Love Seattle. Didn't love your clothes. Really you couldnt run into Banana and get a cute blouse? Did you just have your thyroid worked on- is that why you wore that scarf? Seriously distracting. But again, loved your digs and your parents. Very different from my own taste, but unique and cool. I think she'll definitely be final 2. Might be hard to watch her lose- I've grown to like her. Side note- as Traci has mentioned to me, rose ceremony dress too tight and not your color.
I'm thinking it's Emily in the end. If it's not, she'll be the next Bachelorette. If she does win, I'm not really seeing any other good contenders for this role. Thoughts?
Shawntel- hmm. What to say? Maybe laying him on the dead person embalming table was a bit much. I mean I understand you want him to appreciate your line of work. I can certainly relate. But you don't see me putting a cath in my husband's wee wee. Also, I think if you just did that new bob that Jennifer Anniston just did to her hair, it would be perfect on you (you can see pics on People.com). On a final note, I liked that you left without tearing him apart but you didn't have to gravel and put your tail between legs. There are other men out there that are kind and respectful- living ones at that!
Ahsley- Let me start with one major annoyance- French Canadian- Everyone who knows me, knows I love all things French. But that nasal French Canadian accent just really gets under my skin. It's the equivalent of a strong midwestern accent to me- dontcha know? Anyhoo- I do have a sensitive stomach, but really that Putsin (sp??) made me want to vomit. Then you feed it to him- really? Nasty. Get that cheesy gravy mess off camera. That line from Pulp Fiction just kept playing through my head "They fuckin' drown it in that shit" (referencing french fries and mayonnaise). Wolf. Ok moving on- Ashely you were like a 10 year old seeing Justin Bieber in person. Calm down. Get your hormones in check and try not to make a baby in front of your whole freakin family. And Brad you felt comfortable here? I'm so confused. I felt like he was sitting in Sarah Palins cousin's living room. Freaky. You'll be gone next week when he discovers you are still in training bras.
Chantel- Love Seattle. Didn't love your clothes. Really you couldnt run into Banana and get a cute blouse? Did you just have your thyroid worked on- is that why you wore that scarf? Seriously distracting. But again, loved your digs and your parents. Very different from my own taste, but unique and cool. I think she'll definitely be final 2. Might be hard to watch her lose- I've grown to like her. Side note- as Traci has mentioned to me, rose ceremony dress too tight and not your color.
I'm thinking it's Emily in the end. If it's not, she'll be the next Bachelorette. If she does win, I'm not really seeing any other good contenders for this role. Thoughts?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Bach Recap- Ding Dong the witch is dead!
Adios MicHELLe! Looks like Brad has come to senses and the blood flow has returned to his other head! I was really starting to doubt this fool, but low and behold he pulled his head out of his ass and wised up. Almost hate to see the drama go. I have feeling she may not show for the "Before the final Rose" epsiode- Wes style. Smart of her to lay down and play dead in the back of the limo- probably the only way she knows how to ride in one... hoe. Anyhoo-they whole "group date" was awkward and weird. I would say to ABC that when you're down to 6 gals, group dates are a waste.
Brit Brit- As Ali has pointed out, homegirl needs to eat a sandwich or as Ryan said, "two". Poor thing didn't have a chance. And everyone knew it. So he takes her up a cliff that obviously was not OSHA certified. Gotta love Caribbean waivers. By the way- hoisting my body up a rock wall only to jump off and get the worlds biggest wedgie all while a camera shoots from below (my worst angle) is absolutely my worst nightmare. No wonder they had Brit Brit do this date- no other bitch was willing. That date was just hard to watch. He really had her leave on a dingy- really? Can't you just see the producers standing around, "cue the dingy.... lift anchor". AWKWARD. And why did he make her swim to the yacht if there was a dingy the whole time? Maybe it was her idea- that probably burned a good 112 calories. She probably ate a WHOLE apple for breakfast. Sorry chickita. What I would like to see is her come back for the reunion episode with some toner in her hair, 12-20 inches cut off the locks, 10 lbs gained and a cute fitted dress- holla girl!
Chantel O.- sweetheart you are killing me. I think she will really be devastated when things don't pan out with her and Brad. My heart may break a little when it comes. I'm going to give her 2nd- 3rd place. I don't see her winning but I could be wrong. Such a pretty face- love when she lets her hair have some natural wave. Needs a better bikini but all is not lost. I'm sooooo pissed cause I bought Ryan apple TV for our anniversary (Romantic huh?) and he was messing around with all the wires while I was watching and of course he disconnects my show "on accident" he claims. So I missed a good 3 minutes of the photo shoot scene cause u-verse had to reboot for 2 and I had to lecture ryan for 1. haha- so that's what we have come to after 7 valentine's together :)Don't think I missed too much though.
Ashley- honestly she still bores me. She's too grateful for every bit of attention from Brad. She had every right to be pissed at him and his shenanigans and then gets all retraction-y when it irks him. So he awards her with a rose??? Girl, this relationship will never work. You gotta be real. Mandy I think you hit this one on the head last week- he is getting mad when the girls get mad he is dating other women- it's a natural reaction Brad!! Let me make a side note here- I think jealousy too early is weird- girls you know what you signed up for- duh! But when we get down to these smaller numbers, I think it's only natural to have the winds shift a bit. Ash, next week may be your last. 3rd at best.
Shawntal- I like her. A bit hippy dippy and that's right up my ally. She is trying a bit hard, but hey you probably should if you want the man. I was a little taken aback with the featured performer- "MOST TALENTED IN ALL OF ANGUILLA"- wow showstopper. Awkward scene with the handful of white people acting like they knew the song- clearly they didn't fit. I bet if we looked close enough, Chris Harrison's wife was there- haha- too many island mojitos. Next week's date looks promising- I think they are trying to throw us off with the "death" thing. I think he's going to like that she is different and that will excite him. I'm gonna put her in the top two.
Emily- Oh Em, it looks like you come around next week and show sweet little Ricky. No surprises that she won't like her new daddy. My guess is they will decide it takes time to build a relationship and that a new kite won't quite buy her love. I'm still putting her in top two position. I'm gonna guess he doesn't propose to her because he doesn't know for sure she will accept- enter next Bachelorette.
Well we shall see how this all plays out- these next few episodes are always my favorite. So next week is final 4 hometown dates. Then do we do a final 3 to Brad's hometown? Then Before the Final Rose. Then finale. If this order is correct, then I'm gonna say finale on March 14th! Come on over- maybe we can put some money on this one. Hopefully Reality Steve won't ruin our game. Love to hear your feedback and thoughts.... holla at me!
Brit Brit- As Ali has pointed out, homegirl needs to eat a sandwich or as Ryan said, "two". Poor thing didn't have a chance. And everyone knew it. So he takes her up a cliff that obviously was not OSHA certified. Gotta love Caribbean waivers. By the way- hoisting my body up a rock wall only to jump off and get the worlds biggest wedgie all while a camera shoots from below (my worst angle) is absolutely my worst nightmare. No wonder they had Brit Brit do this date- no other bitch was willing. That date was just hard to watch. He really had her leave on a dingy- really? Can't you just see the producers standing around, "cue the dingy.... lift anchor". AWKWARD. And why did he make her swim to the yacht if there was a dingy the whole time? Maybe it was her idea- that probably burned a good 112 calories. She probably ate a WHOLE apple for breakfast. Sorry chickita. What I would like to see is her come back for the reunion episode with some toner in her hair, 12-20 inches cut off the locks, 10 lbs gained and a cute fitted dress- holla girl!
Chantel O.- sweetheart you are killing me. I think she will really be devastated when things don't pan out with her and Brad. My heart may break a little when it comes. I'm going to give her 2nd- 3rd place. I don't see her winning but I could be wrong. Such a pretty face- love when she lets her hair have some natural wave. Needs a better bikini but all is not lost. I'm sooooo pissed cause I bought Ryan apple TV for our anniversary (Romantic huh?) and he was messing around with all the wires while I was watching and of course he disconnects my show "on accident" he claims. So I missed a good 3 minutes of the photo shoot scene cause u-verse had to reboot for 2 and I had to lecture ryan for 1. haha- so that's what we have come to after 7 valentine's together :)Don't think I missed too much though.
Ashley- honestly she still bores me. She's too grateful for every bit of attention from Brad. She had every right to be pissed at him and his shenanigans and then gets all retraction-y when it irks him. So he awards her with a rose??? Girl, this relationship will never work. You gotta be real. Mandy I think you hit this one on the head last week- he is getting mad when the girls get mad he is dating other women- it's a natural reaction Brad!! Let me make a side note here- I think jealousy too early is weird- girls you know what you signed up for- duh! But when we get down to these smaller numbers, I think it's only natural to have the winds shift a bit. Ash, next week may be your last. 3rd at best.
Shawntal- I like her. A bit hippy dippy and that's right up my ally. She is trying a bit hard, but hey you probably should if you want the man. I was a little taken aback with the featured performer- "MOST TALENTED IN ALL OF ANGUILLA"- wow showstopper. Awkward scene with the handful of white people acting like they knew the song- clearly they didn't fit. I bet if we looked close enough, Chris Harrison's wife was there- haha- too many island mojitos. Next week's date looks promising- I think they are trying to throw us off with the "death" thing. I think he's going to like that she is different and that will excite him. I'm gonna put her in the top two.
Emily- Oh Em, it looks like you come around next week and show sweet little Ricky. No surprises that she won't like her new daddy. My guess is they will decide it takes time to build a relationship and that a new kite won't quite buy her love. I'm still putting her in top two position. I'm gonna guess he doesn't propose to her because he doesn't know for sure she will accept- enter next Bachelorette.
Well we shall see how this all plays out- these next few episodes are always my favorite. So next week is final 4 hometown dates. Then do we do a final 3 to Brad's hometown? Then Before the Final Rose. Then finale. If this order is correct, then I'm gonna say finale on March 14th! Come on over- maybe we can put some money on this one. Hopefully Reality Steve won't ruin our game. Love to hear your feedback and thoughts.... holla at me!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Bach Recap- Projections and Rejections
I'm certainly no shrink, but if tonight wasn't one giant projection from one person to another then Oprah ain't the queen. Let's start with Allie. I mean could that have been any more awkward? They're sitting at a sinking table in a pool of semen infested hot springs as she is describing a past relationship that exactly describes her current relationship with Brad. They couldn't have scripted that better if they tried. This girl seriously made me laugh tonight. First of all, did they put on her a miniature horse or is the girl Amazon woman? I couldn't stop laughing- I thought the horse was gonna buckle any second. And why were there two ponies following them? I honestly considered that they might have been back up for Allie's horse *See footnote. And she damn near killed me with the bug phobia. I have to relate a little to her fear myself, but did she have to throw her glass at a beetle? Priceless.
Next major offender of the night- micHELLe- I do believe she described Chantal as "egotistical". Well if that ain't calling the kettle black? And can anyone say INSECURE???? Really, you had to map it out for Brad- shit maybe she is actually the producer of this whole thing and I just didn't realize it. Brad you better back away now. I'm pretty confident this bitch has you by the balls. I'm not sure a little punishment last place rose is gonna teach this chick anything. Two things really bother me about this girl: (1) Ok I'll say it. I'm not sure she is here for the right reasons- ha. But it's true. I'm really not sure why she even likes Brad. I think she wants to control him and win. That's so season 1-14. (2) She thinks she's so damn cute on her side interviews. I mean she really seems pleased with herself after she says things like "i just really wanna go home and F*&K him. *giggles* I mean I'm just not sure how else to say it". Wow- mother of the year.
Chantal O- I like her. She cheered up a bit this episode for us. I thought the whole "I love you" was a bit soon, but I gotta give it to her for playing her cards well. Really didn't like her rose ceremony dress. Made her a bit boxy and she otherwise has a cute figure.
Ashley- Hate to still see you here. I don't see the appeal. Pardon me, "connection".
Shawntel- Like her a lot too. The silent game was a little odd. Reminded me of a really awful 7th grade teacher I had that wouldn't talk to us for 3 days (Huhndorf- for any of my fellow IKE classmates). Otherwise, I think I'd be friends with this girl myself.
Jackie- Girl, I really liked ya at the get-go. Kinda let me down with the mellowdramatic descent down the water fall. That is until I couldn't stop laughing as the waterfall completely kicked your ass- HILARIOUS. No worries chickita- you did more than I could have or would have for Brad. You'll do well on shows like Bachelor pad and other ABC reunions- Brad was too regimented and serious for you.
Brit- I'm sorry, who are you? Please eat a french fry. She reminds me of this perfume I used to like when I was about 10 (before my mom would let me have the real stuff)- I believe it was called Petite Natee. She seems kind of tween-ish to me. Like make up doesn't settle well on her unless it has glitter. I swear she is going to use a crimper in next week's episode. Cotillian vs. prom. Limited too vs. The Limited. Fake id vs not fake id. etc etc etc...
Emily- Oh girl, I think I may see the cards about to fold. Let's hope not. I'll still put her as a front runner (who wouldn't) but that whole "sabotage" comment and the preview next week where she may or may not let him meet her daughter... Oh Lordy. Could be the beginning of the end. Or perhaps as the next Bachelorette. Only time will tell.
OK am i missing anyone? Don't think so. Let me hear your thoughts this week. Looks like we can nail down a finale night soon- so get ready to mark your calendars. Special thanks tonight to hubby Ryan for running downstairs to get my power cord for the old mac. Time to save for an iPad. I should get some advertisers in here for my 14 followers. Ha!
**Just to be clear- I don't feel as though Allie is a big girl. This is more a reflection on the poor planning of producers to give a tall woman a small horse. Also, please note, no horses were harmed in the making of this production.
Next major offender of the night- micHELLe- I do believe she described Chantal as "egotistical". Well if that ain't calling the kettle black? And can anyone say INSECURE???? Really, you had to map it out for Brad- shit maybe she is actually the producer of this whole thing and I just didn't realize it. Brad you better back away now. I'm pretty confident this bitch has you by the balls. I'm not sure a little punishment last place rose is gonna teach this chick anything. Two things really bother me about this girl: (1) Ok I'll say it. I'm not sure she is here for the right reasons- ha. But it's true. I'm really not sure why she even likes Brad. I think she wants to control him and win. That's so season 1-14. (2) She thinks she's so damn cute on her side interviews. I mean she really seems pleased with herself after she says things like "i just really wanna go home and F*&K him. *giggles* I mean I'm just not sure how else to say it". Wow- mother of the year.
Chantal O- I like her. She cheered up a bit this episode for us. I thought the whole "I love you" was a bit soon, but I gotta give it to her for playing her cards well. Really didn't like her rose ceremony dress. Made her a bit boxy and she otherwise has a cute figure.
Ashley- Hate to still see you here. I don't see the appeal. Pardon me, "connection".
Shawntel- Like her a lot too. The silent game was a little odd. Reminded me of a really awful 7th grade teacher I had that wouldn't talk to us for 3 days (Huhndorf- for any of my fellow IKE classmates). Otherwise, I think I'd be friends with this girl myself.
Jackie- Girl, I really liked ya at the get-go. Kinda let me down with the mellowdramatic descent down the water fall. That is until I couldn't stop laughing as the waterfall completely kicked your ass- HILARIOUS. No worries chickita- you did more than I could have or would have for Brad. You'll do well on shows like Bachelor pad and other ABC reunions- Brad was too regimented and serious for you.
Brit- I'm sorry, who are you? Please eat a french fry. She reminds me of this perfume I used to like when I was about 10 (before my mom would let me have the real stuff)- I believe it was called Petite Natee. She seems kind of tween-ish to me. Like make up doesn't settle well on her unless it has glitter. I swear she is going to use a crimper in next week's episode. Cotillian vs. prom. Limited too vs. The Limited. Fake id vs not fake id. etc etc etc...
Emily- Oh girl, I think I may see the cards about to fold. Let's hope not. I'll still put her as a front runner (who wouldn't) but that whole "sabotage" comment and the preview next week where she may or may not let him meet her daughter... Oh Lordy. Could be the beginning of the end. Or perhaps as the next Bachelorette. Only time will tell.
OK am i missing anyone? Don't think so. Let me hear your thoughts this week. Looks like we can nail down a finale night soon- so get ready to mark your calendars. Special thanks tonight to hubby Ryan for running downstairs to get my power cord for the old mac. Time to save for an iPad. I should get some advertisers in here for my 14 followers. Ha!
**Just to be clear- I don't feel as though Allie is a big girl. This is more a reflection on the poor planning of producers to give a tall woman a small horse. Also, please note, no horses were harmed in the making of this production.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Bachelor Recap- Brad on a Mission
I just about died during his therapy session when they referred to this "experience" as Brad's mission. Seriously? Who knew finding love was like finding Bin Laden or launching a space craft? Those kind of buzz words really get to me. Allow me to add to the list for a moment:
-connection
-"here for the right reasons"
-special
-journey
-catty
-"steal him for a moment"
Ok just had to get that off my chest.
I heard an interview from Chris Harrison regarding the awkward date location for Emily. He basically copped right to it- it made for great tv. And that it did. That girl handled it like a champ. If you ask me, it was the right amount of tears and hope. Like she said, one lap for Ricky and one for her. Well said. This girl should be a tv host. She can do no wrong. Loved her turquoise cover up and how she said, "I'm normally a lot of fun". Haha- it's like ABC is trying to break this bitch down. Way to go Em- you're a trooper. My prediction is Brad totally falls for her but in the end, she leaves the show. Definitely next Bachelorette. But since I can't go so lightly on any girl- I have to confess.... the whole "Ricky" thing totally makes me giggle inside thinking of Talladega Nights. Sorry- had to do it. See, I even feel guilty making fun of her and I don't even know her- points for you girl!
Shawntel- still confused a bit by her. I really like her one minute and the next I think she is extremely socially awkward. She needs to seriously try to "style" her hair at some point. And really- that's the Fendi bag you chose? 5 grande on that old carpet bag? On the other hand, loved how she ate her dinner (ON CAMERA) while discussing how to embalm a dead dude. That just speaks to the nurse in me :)
Chantal- I really wish he had sent you home. I used to like you but all you do is cry cry cry. And it looks like that's all you are going to do in upcoming episodes. Get a grip!
Michelle- There is absolutely NO excuse for the zebra print dress you wore! You obviously aren't making any friends in the house, otherwise, one of them would have had the balls to tell you to change. P.S. Trying so hard to be sexy and domineering merely makes you desperate and domineering. Lord help us all with this one. You drive me nuts Michelle, but I would be sad to see your drama go.
Allie- So you don't feel special huh? Well looks like you cried enough tears to get Brad to pity you enough to bring out an odd little dessert. Lucky you. Feel better? I bet you last one more week.
Ashley and Ashley- I still can't figure which is which. You are interchangeable to me. They were a real snoozefest of besties. I bet these two have a freaky side though. Can't you just see them appearing on Bachelor Pad and being drunken sorority girls? Also, I hate that type of date- neither is good at acting or acrobats and yet we are forced to watch this crap. The one redeeming factor... Brad in those hideous shorts- hahahaha. I had to pause it and call in Ryan to take a look at that shit.
No surprises at the rose ceremony as far as I'm concerned. Still don't even know the ladies he sent packing- good last ditch effort though Marissa- if you had had a personality, I think you might have had a shot. I'm not really getting the Brit connection- especially with her Heidi of the mountain braid. Hmmm... we'll see how long she makes it. I can't really see a home town date with her- it might be weird for Brad to meet the folks and sheep and goats and cattle etc.
Till next week...
-connection
-"here for the right reasons"
-special
-journey
-catty
-"steal him for a moment"
Ok just had to get that off my chest.
I heard an interview from Chris Harrison regarding the awkward date location for Emily. He basically copped right to it- it made for great tv. And that it did. That girl handled it like a champ. If you ask me, it was the right amount of tears and hope. Like she said, one lap for Ricky and one for her. Well said. This girl should be a tv host. She can do no wrong. Loved her turquoise cover up and how she said, "I'm normally a lot of fun". Haha- it's like ABC is trying to break this bitch down. Way to go Em- you're a trooper. My prediction is Brad totally falls for her but in the end, she leaves the show. Definitely next Bachelorette. But since I can't go so lightly on any girl- I have to confess.... the whole "Ricky" thing totally makes me giggle inside thinking of Talladega Nights. Sorry- had to do it. See, I even feel guilty making fun of her and I don't even know her- points for you girl!
Shawntel- still confused a bit by her. I really like her one minute and the next I think she is extremely socially awkward. She needs to seriously try to "style" her hair at some point. And really- that's the Fendi bag you chose? 5 grande on that old carpet bag? On the other hand, loved how she ate her dinner (ON CAMERA) while discussing how to embalm a dead dude. That just speaks to the nurse in me :)
Chantal- I really wish he had sent you home. I used to like you but all you do is cry cry cry. And it looks like that's all you are going to do in upcoming episodes. Get a grip!
Michelle- There is absolutely NO excuse for the zebra print dress you wore! You obviously aren't making any friends in the house, otherwise, one of them would have had the balls to tell you to change. P.S. Trying so hard to be sexy and domineering merely makes you desperate and domineering. Lord help us all with this one. You drive me nuts Michelle, but I would be sad to see your drama go.
Allie- So you don't feel special huh? Well looks like you cried enough tears to get Brad to pity you enough to bring out an odd little dessert. Lucky you. Feel better? I bet you last one more week.
Ashley and Ashley- I still can't figure which is which. You are interchangeable to me. They were a real snoozefest of besties. I bet these two have a freaky side though. Can't you just see them appearing on Bachelor Pad and being drunken sorority girls? Also, I hate that type of date- neither is good at acting or acrobats and yet we are forced to watch this crap. The one redeeming factor... Brad in those hideous shorts- hahahaha. I had to pause it and call in Ryan to take a look at that shit.
No surprises at the rose ceremony as far as I'm concerned. Still don't even know the ladies he sent packing- good last ditch effort though Marissa- if you had had a personality, I think you might have had a shot. I'm not really getting the Brit connection- especially with her Heidi of the mountain braid. Hmmm... we'll see how long she makes it. I can't really see a home town date with her- it might be weird for Brad to meet the folks and sheep and goats and cattle etc.
Till next week...
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